“Please pass the Jam”, I say to the lovely women I am have breakfast with. I expect jars of store purchased jelly and reward with jar after jar of homemade jams and chutneys fresh from gardens and farms all over South Australia. I was surrounded with smiles, steam of fresh coffee, and delicious baked treats that remind me of Sunday breakfast growing up. It was so comforting.
This past weekend I had the privilege of spending quality time getting to know some incredible women from the local region at a women’s church retreat. What a treat to eat, study, play, and dance with women of all ages from this beautiful country. Walking on the beach with these amazing new friends and making shadow shapes in the sunrise was a true joy. I took time to reflect on my friendships. I have wonderful friends, and was really thinking about those who I count on and who count on me.
It is extraordinary important that women have women friends and spend quality time with. It needs to be a priority to take our friendships with our women friends to something deeper than just a shopping buddy once a month. Our souls need and are refreshed from this time together. The connection between women is so valuable and important in our lives. We are wired for fellowship and communication with these friends. Why is it important to have these friends? Women tend to give and give and forget to take time for ourselves. We compare ourselves to others and that only leads to feelings of jealously or inferiority. We are in this life together as sisters! We cannot give in to anything other than a relationship of support and love. Spending quality time together over coffee or on holiday is a great way to grow deep roots with those friends we need to grow with. Purposeful priority needs to be placed on growing these friendships.
My very first friend and forever my best friend is found in my momma. She is a mentor, teacher, and nurturer. She continues to be the one I run to when I just need someone to listen. I value this friendship beyond words, and I am blessed that God gave me the parents that he did. I love you Mom! I am blessed to have friends from college that I continue to laugh with and pick right back up where we left off each time we are together. I have incredible work friends that make me laugh so hard constantly cry tears of joy. I have dear friends who started as parents of students and have become my sisters. And now… I am beginning to make friends around the world that I value as my family away from home.
This weekend I had one such friend ask me, “What are you looking for in a depth-full friend?” I told her I was not was not interested in small talk, but a friend who wants to go deep. A friend who is willing to challenge me in my faith, my ideas, my actions, and my life; and then be challenged herself in those same matters. I really believe that if girlfriends are willing to be offended or challenged or pushed, IN LOVE, they will grow not only as friends, but as an individual. I was delighted when she responded with a desire to do the same. My heart is full of giggles for this new relationship.
Why are we so fearful of true relationship? Is it because we don’t want to prioritize time, we don’t actually want relationship, we would rather be in busy than in relationship, fear, or is it that we don’t know how to have a deep friendship? Ladies who read this, we are compromising our and purpose. Let’s be friends. I open this blog this week to suggestions and comments on how we can begin to begin and develop these friendships.
So… Get out on that playground, find your friend, take her hand, and begin a friendship that will be full of sweet homemade goodness.