I miss you Bordertown
Bordertown, I miss you. I miss the single stop sign. The farms roads arched by glorious gum trees. I even miss the occasional sheep eating in the paddock.
As I drove to Melbourne airport I realized how much I am privileged to be living where I am.
Driving on the left side is already challenging then adding crazy right turns and tilty bridges and I break into a sweat. What is with a hook turn and the inside roads and outside roads of the city!!?? I found myself sitting at a right turn waiting for a green arrow, oh poo is that a tram behind me? Where do I turn? There was two roads! An inny and an outy! Do I turn inny right or outy right! Siri just said right! Aaahhhh, the arrow is green and the dingle ringle of the tram was urging me to get my gitty up on. I think I go outy right and hope for the best!
As I approached the airport I realized I didn’t know where long term parking was, oops. I just missed the turn. That’s ok I have time. I will just use the roundabout to flip a U’y. How hard can that be? Now, some of you will remember the classic film National Lampoons Griswold European vacation, round about scene. Where Clark get stuck all day saying “Look kids, Big Ben!” Well this was me! Siri was yelling at me to take some magical third exit, all the signs said ‘one way no exit’, the other traffic was honking because I wasn’t in the inner lane or signaling, Bam Bam buried his head, and I was starting to get shaky with nerves. Three spins later I was out and on a road that put me back on the highway away from the airport. The exact opposite direction and back into the freeway traffic of the city. I started laughing! No, like a belly laugh with actual tears. It was hilarious. I actually said aloud, “I am Clark Griswold!” Those who know me best, now realize that is a perfect description of me!
I finally made my way back to the airport, into long term parking, and now it was time to park. The Melbourne long term parking lot is not like normal lots where you can go up and down looking for a spot. There are no ‘turn around’ lanes. As soon as you get to the end of a lane you must have parked, turned around, or back up all the way back! I decided a 15 point turn around would be my best option. Just like Austin Powers, I am master of my vehicle. That’s when I found the perfect spot! The final spot in the next lane right between a little car and a concrete wall. Perfect! I am still getting used to parking, so a car on only one side is less stress of getting into an accident. I was thrilled. I angled and started to pull into the tiny space with a wall on my right. I needed to pull in the mirrors, and might have scrapped a bit of right fender, but I was in! Snug as a bug in a rug. I was miles from the car on the left and managed to snugly fit mere centimeters from the wall on my right. I’m a parking rock star! I can rock this city driving thing!!
That’s when I realized….. I exit the car on the right.
Check out these link for a laugh….. This was me. And I’m proud of it!