Hold so Tight

I seriously have the greatest big brother in the world. I just got a birthday message from him and it made my day. As I sat to blog, all I can think of his how ridiculously cool he is. 
Don’t know how it happened, but in the lottery for terrific parents and siblings, I WON, big time. I always encourage my students and friends, when they begin to winge about their siblings, to be glad that they have them. I was blessed with the best siblings in the world, but at the cost of very limited time with them. 
As the youngest by a few years, I got to watch my siblings grow and thrive from the comfort of my playpen. I looked up to them as the coolest humans God could have ever put on this planet.  
I remember my big brother teaching me how to wedge myself on the kitchen counter so I could reach the high shelves were the yummy peanuts were hidden. It was like my own personal superhero was there. He ignited the passion I have for nature and science. He gave me my first animal field guide that I still use in my classroom to this day, a book that is precious to me. I don’t know if older siblings know the influence they have on their younger siblings. They are the first people that begin to shape personality, social behaviors, and beliefs. Yes, our parents have the greatest influence, but our siblings are the role models of the behaviors taught by our parents. My brother has had a dramatic influence on the way I think. Recently, after making some major life choices, I was blessed to have the support, love, and gentle direction shaping wisdom of my big brother. It feels like I have the greatest support system in the world behind me. I watch him from many miles away, watching him raise his family with wisdom and have great passion for the work that he does. What an incredible life role model. I seriously have the greatest big brother in the world.  
As my siblings started their own lives and families I was blessed to get to watch and learn, and most of all gain wisdom from their choices. I am so blessed that I was able to witness such passion for others, passion for life, and passion for God was in both of them.  
I lost my sister nearly 18 years ago to brain cancer. My heart is still broken. I still get very angry that she was taken from me. I dream of her often. Waking from a brief moment with her. I needed that best friend. I needed that kind advise only a sister could give. I needed someone to share secrets with. As write these words, I cannot hold back the tears in my eyes thinking of what an incredible person she was. I wish more than anything she was here. I miss her so much it takes my breath away.  I would give anything to spend just five minutes with her, telling her of the incredible legacy she left behind in her children and grandchildren. I see sister mugs and cards in gift shops, sometimes I want to scream with a desire to have her here. I see Facebook posts of “I have the best sister ‘like’ if you agree”. I do have the best sister God ever created. ‘Liked’ by God himself. 
You don’t know how much time you have left together. Time is precious. The night our sister passed away, my brother and I went for a walk. I will never know how long, or even if we talked, but I will never forget him holding my hand. He held my hand so tight. I held his so tight. It was one of the most precious moments of my life. Hand in hand we walked, an understanding between us, an understanding that we would never let go. That no matter what circumstances we would face in our remaining time on this planet, we would never let go, never let go of the beauty of a sibling relationship. A bond started by God in heaven. I can still feel that now. I am 9,000 miles (13,000k) away from him right now, but I can still feel that sibling bond. I am a moment away from heaven where my sister is and I still feel her presence.  We are siblings. 
What a blessing siblings are. I challenge you to not to just post a ‘like’ of them on Facebook, but BE with them, talk to them, spend precious time with them. If you are 9,000 miles away. Call them. Then….Hold so tight. 

2 thoughts on “Hold so Tight

  1. You made me cry! But just got off the phone to my big brother.. He’s only 1000km away in Tassie, but far enough away I only see him every 1-2yrs. Hope my kids grow up to treasure each other…

    Liked by 1 person

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