Confessions of a Love Handle

I am too beautiful for you. 

I wonder if you really deserve to have me.  
You made me sweetheart. Each luscious sip of red wine and bite of chips and gravy. You made me. I wrap around you like a warm winter blanket. I am you. I am your sassy handles of chubby delight. I am your love cushion. I am your voluptuous life ring. I am your junk in the trunk. I’m not just love handles, I am full handfuls of gloriousness.  
Hi. Thank you for taking time to hear me. 
I see them looking at my luscious softness. My jiggle and bounce is like a wink drawing them in. Yet, you hide me under hoodies and tummy control underwear. I want to be seen! Let me loose! 

You know you want to show me off. You should, my friend, because I am spectacular. We are spectacular!

Yes, I have many imperfections. Each scar and dimple is a road map. Each mark shows my journey in this life; a story of pain and joy. I embrace each line, for they tell of who I am; who I truly am. 

I see woman look, as they do, looking with part jealousy, part judgement, but mostly wanting to to feel the confident acceptance of fellow sisters. I see men look with eager eyes full of desire; the carry that mischievous grin, their heads snapping back into place when their lady fake coughs. 

Take care of me! 

Stop squeezing me with bras that don’t fit and control top panty hose. I’m just gonna get all sweaty and roll that flimsy fabric out of the way anyway. Do you honestly believe that a circlette of spandex is going to make you a size two and age 22? Stop spending your money on things that squeeze so hard they give you gas. Go dancing instead. Let me shake and bounce until you giggle so hard, with true joy, you pee a little. 

While we are on the topic of clothing, please pour me into those favorite jeans. Let me fill up every millimeter. They didn’t make 1990’s rap music about skinny bums. Sir Mix-a-Lot rhymed truth about the luscious lady curves. I challenge you to name five songs about a womans lovely lady lumps. Easy wasn’t it. Try try and name one song about skinny woman. Take it from me, sweet and sassy curves are what make the world go round!

Can I just discuss swimwear for a moment. Why do you insist on suffocating me in a one piece skirted granny suit with a old T-shirt for cover up? I am spectacular! Show me off. Like a sweet buñuelo I am full of delicious joy. Bikinis come in all sizes I want to be framed in tiny colorful spandex. Show my soft untanned beauty. Feel the ocean or pool. Let the water cool and refresh us. 

Look at me. See me in that full length mirror you try to avoid. Stop looking at the beauty magazine written by newly graduated journalism majors trying to earn their first paycheck writing sex tips. Read your own heart. Find that inner woman than God created. You are beautiful. You are unique and perfect in every way. Take a deep breath and remember who you ARE and embrace that perfection! Embrace me! Remember I am your greatest asset. 
Señoras, les estoy hablando a ustedes. Abracen esos hermosos cuerpos. Son únicos y perfecto en todos los sentidos! 

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