“Wanna be my Best Friend?”
I remember uttering these words to Marcy Campbell in the 3rd grade. She was my first best friend. All I had to do was ask and we were instantly bonded for life. It seemed so easy at 3rd grade. I truly wish it was as easy as an adult. Now finding a friend is more difficult than finding a date. Finding a date/ hook-up/ spouse is just a swipe away on Tinder or Farmers-only. Finding a friend who is loyal, fun, and honest is probably the most difficult thing adults have to do. Why is this?
I am blessed to have many people in my life who I consider friends. They are in my life because I trust them with my thoughts, sarcasm, wardrobe opinions, love-life opinions, and even religious freedom opinions. In reality, my friends have all been willing to take on “JENNIE” who can be a bit of a box of sunshine wrapped in smiles and sprinkled with the glitter of a million unicorns. I know I can be a bit much for many people. I don’t apologize. I just thank my friends for being willing to take on someone who may show up in a giant tutu. Thank you, my dear friends!
We have all kinds of friends. Work friends who we can confide in and who we miss when they are out sick for the day. Family friends, those who we are friends with because of our friends, family, or kids. Lifestyle friends, friends we met from church, the gym, or that new art class. Historical social friends, or those who we are friends with only because of Social Media or because we went to school with them. Then, the most important, actual life-long friends. Actual friends are those with depth. They are honest and open. They are willing to share secrets because they trust you completely. They are willing to share their opinions and not the ‘politically correct’ version of truth. They are fun and bring joy to your souls. They don’t make you happy, because that is found within, but they enlighten your soul. They challenge you and correct you, with love, when you are wrong. They are few and far between. They are truly a gem worth the difficult mining process.
I don’t want surface friends. Shallow friendships are as pointless as gills on a spaceship. There is a point in every friendship when you begin to test the waters and get deep. I know there are people in my life I will be friends with but never get deeper. That is ok. We all like to know people and call them friends. What I truly treasure is a deep friendship with those to whom I can ask challenging questions and who are willing to look at friendship as a life-long relationship.
I made a pact with my dear friend Nancy many years ago. We decided we would never go more than a year without seeing each other. This has sometimes been difficult with our live paths, but we have never missed a year. It is due to this commitment. I find comfort in this. Knowing that she is willing to be a true friend who is willing to go through life and all the trials of life with me. She accepted the ”JENNIE” and been there to encourage me to shine as brightly as I can. I am beyond blessed to have her in my life, as she has become part of who I am, and not just who I know. I love her. So, Nancy, “Wanna be my best friend”?
Real friendship is difficult. It must be tended like a garden. Time needs to be put into the relationship. Tending to the weeds or rumors of friends must be cut. Watering and feeding will produce the sweetest fruit of friendship when both want a friendship to last. What does this mean? It means we all still get to pick our friends. It can be as easy as just being friends. It also takes effort and energy. I choose to make sure I am making friends worth keeping.
Wanna be my best friend?